Beyond Networking

How to Build Authentic Professional Relationships Throughout Your Career

What if networking didn’t feel like networking?

For a long time, I had very mixed feelings about networking.

I knew it was important. I understood that relationships mattered for career growth, new opportunities, and navigating transitions. But so much of what I associated with networking felt sales-y and transactional and just not me.

Over the past several years, I’ve worked hard to change that. I’ve practiced putting myself in situations that once felt uncomfortable. I’ve gotten better at starting conversations, reaching out to people I don’t know well, and following up after meeting someone new. But the biggest shift wasn’t learning the “right” networking techniques. It was changing how I thought about networking in the first place.

I stopped thinking about networking as something I had to do and started thinking about it as building authentic professional relationships.

That reframe made a huge difference.

Your professional network isn’t a collection of contacts or a list of people you might call when you need something. It’s the relationships you build throughout your career with colleagues, former colleagues, mentors, people you meet through your industry, and eventually, people you can support and mentor yourself.

And when you start thinking about networking that way, it becomes less about working a room or selling yourself and much more about curiosity, connection, and staying in touch.

Good work alone isn’t always enough

Many of us were taught that if we work hard, do excellent work, and deliver results, our contributions will speak for themselves.

I see this especially often with women and people who are more introverted. We are often more comfortable putting our heads down and doing the work than talking about what we’ve accomplished. We may even believe that our work shouldbe enough.

But, unfortunately, good work doesn’t always speak for itself.

People need to know who you are. They need to understand what you’re good at, what you care about, and what you might be interested in doing next. And often, they learn those things through relationships.

Those relationships matter in ways that go far beyond finding your next job. They can lead to an invitation to join an interesting project, an introduction to someone you could learn from, a chance to take on a leadership role, or simply having someone think of your name when an opportunity comes up.

This doesn’t mean becoming the loudest person in the room or constantly promoting yourself. In fact, some of the most valuable professional relationships are built quietly over time through thoughtful conversations.

That’s why I see networking as an important part of professional visibility. Doing great work matters. Making sure people beyond your immediate circle have a chance to know you and your work matters, too.

Networking isn’t just for job hunting

For many people, networking is something they start thinking about when they really need it, especially when they’re looking for a new job.

There’s a good reason to approach it differently. When you build and maintain professional relationships throughout your career, you’re not starting from scratch every time you want to make a change. You have people you can turn to for perspective, information, introductions, and support. And because those relationships have developed over time, reaching out doesn’t feel quite so transactional.

But what if you’re already in a job search and haven’t been intentionally building your network?

Start now.

In my work with people navigating career transitions, I often find that they have far more connections than they initially realize. Your network isn’t just the people you talk to regularly. It includes former colleagues and managers, classmates, mentors, clients, vendors, people you’ve worked with on cross-functional teams, people you know through professional organizations, and people you haven’t talked to in years.

You don’t need hundreds of close professional relationships. You can start by taking stock of the people you already know and reconnecting with a few of them.

And once the immediate job search is over, keep going.

A strong professional network is useful throughout your career, not only when you need your next opportunity. It can expose you to new ideas, help you understand what’s happening in your field, connect you with people whose experiences are different from your own, and give you opportunities to help others along the way.

The goal isn’t to build a network because you might someday need something from it. It’s to build relationships that you value whether you need something or not.

Networking is a skill, not a personality trait

One of the biggest shifts I’ve made in how I think about networking is recognizing that it’s a skill, and like most skills, it gets easier with practice.

You don’t have to be naturally outgoing or love walking into a room full of strangers. You don’t have to be great at small talk. And you certainly don’t have to turn yourself into an extrovert if you’re not one.

What you may need to practice are some of the behaviors that make it easier to create those connections: introducing yourself to someone new, asking good questions, talking comfortably about your own work, and following up after you meet.

Some of those things may feel awkward at first. That doesn’t mean you’re bad at networking. It means you’re learning a skill you haven’t practiced very much yet.

That has certainly been true for me. I’m still an introvert. I still don’t love walking into a room where I don’t know anyone. But I’m much more comfortable doing it than I used to be because I’ve developed strategies that work for me and I’ve practiced them.

The goal isn’t to become someone who loves “working the room.” It’s to find ways of building professional relationships that feel genuine and sustainable for you.

A different way to think about networking

As I’ve become more intentional about networking, I’ve found it helpful to think about building professional relationships in four stages:

Prepare → Connect → Strengthen → Cultivate

What I like about this framework is that only one part of it is really about meeting new people, which is what we traditionally think of as “networking.” The rest is about being thoughtful about the relationships you want to build and then investing in them over time.

Prepare

Before you focus on meeting more people, think about what you want from your professional relationships.

What are you curious about? What kinds of people would you like to know? Are you hoping to learn more about a different role or industry? Build relationships outside your organization? Become more visible in your field? Meet other leaders facing similar challenges?

It also helps to get comfortable talking about yourself. You don’t need a polished elevator pitch, but you should be able to tell someone who you are, what you do, and what interests you in a way that feels natural.

A little preparation can make networking feel much less intimidating because you’re not walking into every conversation wondering what you’re supposed to say.

Connect

This is the part most of us picture when we hear the word networking: meeting someone new.

Networking events and conferences can certainly be part of it, but they’re far from the only way to connect. You might meet someone through a colleague, a professional organization, a class or volunteer activity, or a conversation on LinkedIn. You can also ask someone you already know to introduce you to someone in their network.

The goal isn’t to meet as many people as possible. It’s to create opportunities for conversations with people you’re genuinely interested in knowing.

Strengthen

Meeting someone is only the beginning. The next step is turning that initial connection into a relationship.

Sometimes that’s as simple as sending a thoughtful follow-up after meeting someone. Other times, you might invite them for coffee or ask for a short conversation to learn more about their work. Informational interviews can be particularly valuable here, especially if you’re exploring a new role, organization, or career direction.

This is also where curiosity matters. Ask good questions. Listen. Look for common interests and experiences. And think about what you might be able to offer, not just what you hope to get from the relationship.

Cultivate

This may be the most overlooked part of networking.

Relationships need some attention if you want them to last. That doesn’t mean regularly scheduling coffee with everyone you’ve ever worked with. Small gestures can go a long way.

Congratulate someone on a new role. Send an article that made you think of them. Check in with a former colleague. Make an introduction between two people who would benefit from knowing each other. Reach out when you’re going to be in someone’s city. Offer help when you can.

And don’t underestimate the value of simply staying in touch.

The strongest professional networks aren’t built in a flurry of activity when you suddenly need something. They’re built one relationship at a time.

Start smaller than you think

If you want to build a stronger professional network, you don’t need to attend three events this month or schedule ten coffee meetings.

Start with one small action.

Reach out to a former colleague you’ve been meaning to reconnect with. Invite someone you’d like to know better for coffee. Follow up with someone you met recently. Leave a thoughtful comment on a LinkedIn post.

Then do something else next week.

Building professional relationships works best when it becomes an ongoing part of your life rather than another big project you need to tackle. A few small, consistent actions over time can add up to a strong and diverse network.

And remember: you don’t have to become a different person to get better at networking. You can be thoughtful. You can be introverted. You can dislike small talk. You can prefer one-on-one conversations to crowded rooms.

You can build a network in a way that works for you.

The goal isn’t to get better at “networking.” It’s to build authentic professional relationships with people you can learn from, people you can support, and people you genuinely want to stay connected to throughout your career.

If you’re thinking about how to build stronger professional relationships, become more comfortable with networking, or make better use of the network you already have, I’d love to talk. Reach out and let’s start a conversation.

Curious about Professional Visibility for Women? Click here.

Or go here to read more about Networking for Introverts.