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The “Reach Out Rule”: A Simple Way to Strengthen Your Relationships
The other day, a friend sent me an article by Vivek Murthy called The Reach Out Rule.
Murthy, who served as U.S. Surgeon General, has been vocal about the growing loneliness crisis in America and the real impact it has on our health and well-being. His work focuses on something many of us feel but don’t always name: we’re more disconnected than we used to be.
What struck me about this article is how simple his suggestion is: If someone crosses your mind, reach out in that moment.
Not later. Not when you have more time. Not when you can write the perfect message. Right then.
Why this matters more than we think
Most of us don’t struggle with wanting connection. We struggle with follow-through.
We think about a friend we haven’t talked to in a while, and then we move on with our day.
We assume we’ll circle back when we have more time or energy. But often, we don’t. And it’s not because we don’t care. It’s because life is full. Our attention is pulled in a hundred different directions. But, over time, those missed moments add up.
The power of small, immediate connection
What I love about the Reach Out Rule is how low the bar is.
This isn’t about scheduling long calls or planning elaborate get-togethers (though those matter too). It’s about capturing the moment when someone naturally comes to mind and acting on it.
It can be as simple as:
“You just crossed my mind—sending love.”
That’s it.
And yet, those small touches are often what keep relationships alive.
What I’ve noticed when I try this
I’ve started experimenting with this in my own life. And what’s struck me is how meaningful it feels on both sides. There’s something different about reaching out in the moment. It feels genuine. And almost every time, the response is the same: people are glad you reached out.
It’s a small act, but it creates a ripple.
A simple practice to try this week
If you want to experiment with this, here’s a simple place to start:
The next time someone crosses your mind, pause and reach out right then.
Don’t overthink it. Don’t wait for a better time. Don’t try to make it perfect.
Just send the message.
Final thought
We often think connection requires more time than we have.
But sometimes, it just requires noticing and acting on it in the moment.
